Taking a hiatus from writing has been somewhat cathartic, but at the same time I have missed it, without any channel to express what I have experienced during these last few months.
Since my last post, changes have occurred in my life, both externally and internally, which has sparked a period of transition for me as I settle into a new job, juggle full-time work with study, adjusting to a new home environment, and take stock during a period of change in my friendships and social life.
Someone once told me that all change is good – even if it doesn’t feel good at the time.
Adjusting to my ever changing friendships has been a real test in terms of me learning to really stand on my own two feet, and learn to rely on my strength, my confidence that I can support myself through. I am now the only single woman amongst the people I have grown up with, and it seems that everyday I see more and more people pairing up, getting engaged and married, and starting families of their own.
I have had to dig deep to find the strength to believe there is nothing wrong with me as a person, and that when the time is right, the right man will come into my life and want to be a part of it. This is something that I am accepting, which takes work each and every day. I have good days, and then there are days where I slide into self-pity, and I remind myself that this is all part of my story, and that the story has not ended yet. I recently came across this great list of things to do when the blues come knocking, from the lovely Gala Darling . I have decided to use this opportunity to better my life – to use the time to focus on work and doing the very best that I can, to concentrate on my studies and produce a volume of design and art work that I can be proud of that I can use to build my portfolio, to plan some travels for the end of the year, and an adventure next year, to focus on becoming healthy again by exercising and getting enough sleep and rest, to cut out the alcohol and the fast food which does nothing for the way I feel about myself, to discover new interests, read lots of books, keep an open mind to meeting new people and inviting new experiences into my life.
Walking tall and proud and alone is something to cherish – an independent woman living life on her terms.