Hello! It’s been a while…life updates and other things

Life has been a huge, beautiful, uncertain and constantly changing rainbow bubble-ball in the last 6 months, I don’t even know where to begin recanting the journey so far.

To keep it simple, here is a list of everything that’s been happening:

• I travelled overseas to fulfil my life-long wish of visiting India and Nepal
• I faced my fears and left my big, bright job in tech to pursue a dream job in a dream industry while feeding my creative passions;  and sharing those to hopefully leave the world a little better than I found it
•  I am learning to fight by taking Krav Maga classes, which has been healing and cathartic and empowering, and makes me believe in myself again
• …on the flip side, I broke my toe at Krav Maga, so no training for 6 weeks (boo!)
• I got my adult braces off! While I loved them, it came time to say goodbye after two years of brace-y friendship. My teeth are now amazing and free. And there’s no danger of breaking them at Krav Maga.
• I am slowly becoming vegan and have been experimenting with so many new recipes. Scrambled tofu with turmeric as a replacement to eggs is my new favourite food.
• I am pouring my heart and soul into my Communications and Media degree by taking Content Creation and Professional Communication Practice this trimester and while it will be challenging, I relish it the intellectual stimulation.
• On top of this, I am also taking a social media marketing certification course. My aim is to conquer Twitter like a boss.
• I got the crazy yet sensible idea to create a new portfolio blog to show my professional skills, marketing plans, e-books, design projects, and writings. I want to beam my potential ‘out there’ and not hide it under a rock.  I am so excited by this I get funny breathing when I think about the work I’m putting into this to bring it to life.
• Living my literary dreams by signing up for a volunteer job where I’ll get to spend one day a month at the Women’s Library in Sydney’s Newtown, shelving books, looking at books, recommending books, borrowing books, and writing book reviews. I even got to spend a fun day volunteering contributing to the social media strategy for the library which made my heart sing. Because tea and books. And telling people about them.
• Buying more books than I thought humanly possible. I dream about them. And have 20 of them stacked up by my bedside table waiting to be read. I nerd out on Goodreads, Instagram, and plan my outings to make sure I am within radius of where all my fave book stores are, and visit them on the reg.
• Writing, writing, writing. Most of it has been business or academic writing for school, and more than I have done in a long time. As someone who loves to connect dots, its made so much sense to keep at it and improve every single day.

 

It’s the middle of the day and I’m sitting cross-legged on my bed in my ultra-sunny space, drinking nettle tea and writing a job application. I look at this list, and think *holy shit* this is 6 month’s worth of transformations and transitions and investments and ‘flow’.

It hasn’t been all smooth sailing.  I have had to stare my fears full in the face this year, asking myself all kind of questions, especially about about what my next career steps will be. They rear their ugly heads in the middle of the night, whispering ‘what if my intelligent risk doesn’t work out?’ ‘What if I am chasing a pipe-dream?’ ‘What about the rent?’

Then I take a deep breath, and remember who I am. I  remind myself that my drive to make this work is stronger than my fear, and I have to push those voices back into their box in my head, and silence them. I have to hold onto who I am; I have never conformed to the status quo, or seen the world in quite the same way as the world expected me to. I love being out of my comfort zone, living my life true to my authenticity, creating connections, and spending time with people I love.

When you want something, the whole universe conspires in helping you to achieve it – Paulo Coelho 

What I know is that this year has been unlike any other year. Turning 35 may have had everything to do with it. Visiting India was the catalyst, an eye opener which cracked my soul open to many experiences and perspectives which were confronting, and joyful, and unlike anything I had seen or felt before.

What the next six months will hold I don’t yet know. I’m excited to find out. Wherever life leads I will go with an open mind and an open heart, with the willingness to soak it all up and keep it real.

Peace,

K xxx

 

Maya Angelou

 

” I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life. I’ve learned that making a “living” is not the same thing as making a “life.” I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back. I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one. I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn. I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”  – Maya Angelou

You taught me a lot through your words – compassion, resilience, to be true to myself no matter what circumstances crossed my path in life. You were a comfort when the nights were long, and the days cold, and there was nobody else to teach me the lessons I needed to learn, or hear the words I so desperately  needed to hear.

Thank you.

Clare: It’s hard being left behind. I wait for Henry, not knowing where he is, wondering if he’s ok. It’s hard to be the one who stays. 

I keep myself busy. Time goes faster that way.

I go to sleep alone. And wake up alone. I take walks. I work until I’m tired. I watch the wind play with the trash that’s been under the snow all winter. Everything seems simple until you think about it. Why is love intensified by absence? 

Long ago, men went to sea, and women waited for them, standing on the edge of the water, scanning the horizon for the tiny ship. Now I wait for Henry. He vanishes unwillingly, without warning. I wait for him. Each moment that I wait feels like a year, an eternity. Each moment is as slow and transparent as glass. Through each moment I can see infinite moments lined up, waiting. Why has he gone where I cannot follow?  – The Time Traveller’s Wife ( Audrey Niffennegger) 

Sometimes a passage in a book can say a lot more about how you feel than if you wrote the words yourself.

Another book please… and a cup of tea.

I have always liked reading a lot of books. A lot and a lot of books, but lately I have found myself reading more and more of them, almost like I have developed a voracious appetite for them that I can’t seem to satisfy. And the interesting thing is that they are not necessarily new books, but books which I have previously read and now seem to want to read again- need to read again-surrounding myself with them like a security blanket.

Last week I bought myself the complete set of Maya Angelou’s autobiographies, and have started to work my way through them again – I feel like I am coming back to a very old friend. I first read these books when I was living in Scotland and was looking for some direction and much-needed reassurance in my life, and I found all those things and more among the re-telling of her fascinating and illustrious life.

Perhaps that is why I am coming back to them. Perhaps there is something in them that I need to nourish myself with a second time, some part which needs to hear the wisdom of a woman who has lived through so much, whose life can almost be seen as a road-map to those who come after her. To be inspired by her strength, to rejoice in her triumphs, and share in her sorrows.

All of this…with a gorgeous cup of tea.