The Creative Life

I have a confession to make.

For a long time I have buried my creativity.

I have denied it. Pretended it doesn’t exist. Called it by any other name and left it waiting at the door, turning my back on it at every opportunity.

Something which not many people know about me is I have high-functioning anxiety, which wells up very quickly, and makes it very difficult for me to jump off the anxiety cloud when I’m on it and in full flight. I often feel it’s because my creativity isn’t being expressed on a daily basis. For the past 2 and half years I studied design – this was my creative outlet. Since graduating, I have felt an empty well. I no longer have had a regular outlet for this energy to go.

I feel my creativity as a giant winged bird which permanently sits between my shoulder blades. He is constantly in my ear, whispering to my heart the true purpose of what I should be doing – why do I refuse to listen to him? With every refusal he settles in more snuggly, and weighs on me more heavily every day. He is waiting for me to take the reins on my life, to pursue the things that I love in my life.

He is waiting to lift me up on wings, but I need to take the first step to get us there. And it is hard. I am afraid to fail. I am afraid I’m not good enough. But something has changed in me, something is now different. It is my creativity itself –  instead of knocking softly, is now pounding the door with its heavy and insistent wings.

On creative thing per day is all it will take to make a change. Watercolours. Illustration. Taking an unusual picture. Cooking a beautiful meal. I will pursue my dreams of letting creativity take the reins of my life, and embrace the life I feel deep in my bones I am meant to live.

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Pastel watercolours are my favourite and so much fun to play with!

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Pink! One of the best things about watercolours is the wacky shades the water turns when mixing the perfect colour. If tea came in this colour it would be happy days indeed!

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Working on my Fruit Series – I am planning a few more. These are inspirations for digital illustrations I am currently creating. Created using thick gouache for the background for a textured effect with thinner paint applied for the detail, these are my experiments in using gouache as I haven’t painted with these for a very long time. I am slowly recovering  old techniques as my hands familiarise themselves with my paint brushes again.

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If you want to keep up with my painting and creative journey, follow my Instagram  – Damselfly7.

Look forward to seeing you there!

Wanderess

I’ve been using the last few weeks of living in my new neighbourhood as a chance to wander and explore.

I love the freedom a new place affords me. The new view each morning. The landmarks that identify my street on my morning walk to the train station, the places that are starting to become familiar to me. New sounds. New faces. There are plenty of small lane ways and little nooks, where urban decay peeks its head out among the newer buildings and roads.

 

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Salvador Dali peeks at me in several different colours from the alleyway around the corner.

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I love texture. Old spray paint flaking off the walls provides the perfect contrast between old and new.

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 This lurking area was at the back of an alley-way. As I took the photo, I definitely heeded the sign and ‘lurked’.

 

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Candy-coloured street art- a gorgeous piece by sydney-based artist & designer Nico

 

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I love doors. The curiosity in me wants to know, what is behind this door? What would I find if I were to open it and take a look inside?

photoIf I stretch my imagination, this looks to me to be a wild cat – with a blue face, orange eyes, and a strange light purple nose. I try and seek beauty, even in the most unlikely places.

“She was free in her wildness. She was a wanderess, a drop of free water. She belonged to no man and to no city” 

 – Roman Payne, The Wanderess 

Being free

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I found this in my inbox this morning. And it reflected the very thing I have been feeling all week. The desire to have an adventure, to take off, to feel my feet lift off the ground and fly away to roam the world, the sky, the stars, to see what I can find out in the big blue universe. It’s days like these when the dreamer, the drifter, and the free spirit in me wants to be heard.

Days 12 -19 of 100 Happy Days

The last few days have been like wading through mud – difficult, and mentally draining. I found out what it’s like to  have your internet connection die and madly scramble to get another provider, get a huge migraine which left me rendered on the couch in pain, barely able to open my eyes, and then have to plug away on my first assessment for college which left my brain feeling like it had run a marathon.

Despite all this, there have still been glimmers of things to be happy about and be grateful for.

Day 12 – Working outside, with my favourite magazine on-hand.

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My favourite magazine of all time. This one is THE ONE. The one I think about as soon as I’ve finished the current issue, the one I read dozens of times over, extracting every last bit of information from, savouring each story, each little tidbit, loving the amazing design and photography scattered throughout.

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Day 13: Yummy tasty baby pumpkins – so cute I could hardly bear to buy one and take it home.

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Day 14: Shopping! Gone to attend to some serious retail therapy with a friend, I came across this jacket – oversize, ridiculously comfy, and a great neutral colour to complement everything in my wardrobe.

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These sunnies are my new crush. I tried them on in-store ( you can see the cheeky price tag!) and was smitten, so I swiftly bought them and now I wear them everywhere!

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The white skirt! The black top! What’s not to love – simple and classic.

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Day 15: I don’t know what it is about baby vegetables ( or fruit!) but this was just too cute. And I didn’t have the heart to eat it. So I simply buried it in the garden, to hopefully sprout some siblings for my garden salads.

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Day 16: Finishing my Notan collage. Notan is a Japanese art form where negative, and positive space play together and have a party – this just happened to be a party in the shape of a make-believe creature.

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Day 17: Going for a walk around town, wearing flip-flops, and a cartoon band-aid. When you’ve got a niece and nephews, it’s interesting to find what little odds-and-ends find their way into your life, especially when wanting to cover up a cut on your toe.

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Day 18: Playing with my favourite little guy. Gentle, wise, with an often sparkly and slightly crazy look in his eye, he is the reason I smile each and every day. He is an expert in companionship and cuddles, this year will be his 11th year with me.

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Day 19: Walking past this outside the Museum of Contemporary Art in Sydney. I imagine many things these days, as I am in a bit of a ‘waiting’ phase in my life – waiting for the right job, waiting for my own apartment, waiting for a life partner. It’s tough, but it’s the imagining of the things I want in my life that are slowly getting me through.

Anti-Oxidant Beauty Porridge

I love to start the day right with a powerhouse-of-goodness breakfast. A healthy nutritious combination of carbs, healthy fats, and protein to help me get through whatever the day might throw, and provide me energy to complete my various projects. The breakfast below is what I eat each and every day, using dairy-free, gluten-free ( as much as possible in this recipe), and organic fresh produce. There is a plethora of anti-oxidant goodness in each ingredient, which work hard to repair, and plump up skin cells to keep you beautiful, boost immunity, and help your metabolism to work efficiently. The coconut oil deserves a special mention, as this is amazing for soothing and nourishing skin, and I have noticed a huge difference since eating this every day.

So get your glow on each morning, and indulge in deliciousness!

To make: 

1/2 Cup Oats ( I use Freedom Foods Free Oats which, while not entirely gluten-free, are free from other gluten-producing ingredients such as wheat, rye, and barley. You may be able to find a similar product if you are gluten-intolerant and can handle a small amount of gluten like me)

I cup almond milk ( or other dairy-free milk of your choice)

2 Strawberries

Blueberries, Raspberries, blackberries of your choice in whichever amount you wish

1 small nectarine or peach

1 Tablespoon organic virgin coconut oil

A few walnuts or other nuts, a couple of brazil nuts is my fave, chopped

Chia seeds, up to a tablespoon

A mix of Cinnamon, and All-Spice to sprinkle over

Combine oats and almond milk, and cook according to packet instructions. Mix in the coconut oil, top with chopped fruit and nuts, and sprinkle with both chia and combination spices.

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