Goin’ back to school!

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This week marks the first week of me going back to school!

I know I have been quiet this year, making my first post in March is a little sloppy, but now that I am back at uni studying Communications, majoring in media studies it is time to get serious about writing.

I have had a love for all types of communication for a long time – being a creative soul I was drawn to the visual arts, and graphic design in particular. I was fascinated with the process of planning and executing design, and the strategy behind it – logo design, branding, putting together advertising campaigns, and my first love – illustration. So off I went and applied for a Diploma of Graphic Design, and I am proud to say I finished it last year and now can call myself a designer.

But I have also had a love for written communication, and writing in all forms since I was a little girl. I would spend hours playing with my toys making up fantastical stories of daring, courage, and adventure as I led my playmates through the thick jungles of my mum’s garden’s undergrowth. When I got a little older and had learnt to write, countless stories would be written as part of school projects, and when that wasn’t enough I began to write in small journals. This became a bit of an obsession as I got older, and to this day I have about 15 journals that I have kept on and off over the years, not counting the ones that have been lost.

By the time I became an adult and had discovered the world of blogging, I was hooked and knew I held a deep love for writing deep inside.But there was one thing I always feared with writing, and that was a fear of failure. Would I be good enough? Would anyone want to read anything I had ever written? Not just in terms of stories, or fiction, but the same translated into when I joined the workforce and would obsess endlessly over the emails and memos I would write. Over time, I have improved. In all forms of written communication. And in doing so, the itching passion has come back now twice as strong, and the desire to write, and share, and build, and create, and connect with others has come with it.

Now that I am older, and perhaps a little wiser, I can see how far I have come. I have also come to the conclusion that I can marry both my creative loves and take my life in a different direction.

Coming into my own in the last 3 years has really fuelled my decision to be authentic and pursue the things I love. Learning and up-skilling as an adult has not been the easiest thing, but I am willing more than ever to keep putting one foot in front of the other and continue my journey.

I am very excited to see where this study road leads as I attempt to hop, skip, and jump to new destinations and opportunities. I am a firm believer in that when we take the initiative and make the move to move forwards and better our lives, the Universe resounds a big fat yes! and makes these things happen for us.

When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it – Paulo Coelho 

 

 

This year 2016

After many months of absence I have returned back here to this space, as I’ve done many times without writing or contributing to what I have created. While I am still to work out the direction in which I want to take my offering,  I am ready to pick up where I have left off and let my words flow once more.

This year 2016 has been a big one in many ways. My intentions for the past 12 months were ones of investment and transformation, which I worked on in major ways to bring more of both into my life.

  1. I finished my Graphic Design diploma – 2 and a half years of hard work, commitment and pure perseverance enabled me to cross the line and say I am now a designer.
  2. Moving into an airy, sunny, and quiet new apartment. This is move number 6 in 6 years.
  3. Re-commiting to my yoga practice
  4. Committing to my new adult braces
  5. Being free of my Deep Vein Thrombosis!
  6. Writing my own portfolio website and learning to code enough to get the job done
  7. Visiting Vegas, experiencing the beautiful Grand Canyon, and partying at Omnia nightclub with over 4,500 colleagues at Caesar’s Palace for a work trip
  8. Enjoying and celebrating one more year of life with my beautiful senior dog
  9. Deciding I will not settle just for any man – I am willing to wait for someone special
  10. Reaching over 900 posts on Instagram – am on track for 1000!
  11. Continuing to work towards self-love. My journey has been a long one and it is a road I continue to walk down each and every day.
  12. Learning to accept that I will make mistakes – I forgive myself and move forwards with my head held high
  13. Allowing my inner gypsy princess to come out more often and play with beautiful skirts, long earrings, and bare feet
  14. On that same note, growing my hair to mermaid lengths and leaving it alone without heat styling and straightening
  15. Investing in more books than clothes
  16. Recognising my work-life balance is a little off-center. I am beginning to put together a plan in place for better balance and organisation in 2017.
  17. Ditto for my personal finances
  18. Friendship. I have beautiful, strong, successful friends who I celebrate spending time with and who I am grateful to have in my life
  19. Grateful for family – watching my nieces and nephews grow up is  beautiful experience – they grow up too fast!
  20. Articulating for the first time what my numerous dreams are, and allowing myself the luxury to really think about how I can make them happen. They are unique to me, and not letting others dissuade me with well-intentioned-but-not-for-me-opinions.

As the year comes to a close, I work to plan for 2017, a year of new beginnings, big changes, love and joy. And so it is.

 

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The strangest person in the world

 

 

 

 

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” I used to think I was the strangest person in the world but then I thought there are so many people in the world, there must be someone just like me who feels bizarre and flawed in the same way I do. I would imagine her, and imagine that she must be out there thinking of me too. Well, I hope that if you are out there and read this and know that yes, it’s true I’m here, and I’m just strange as you” 

 -Frida Kahlo

Yes, I’m here.

Being free

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I found this in my inbox this morning. And it reflected the very thing I have been feeling all week. The desire to have an adventure, to take off, to feel my feet lift off the ground and fly away to roam the world, the sky, the stars, to see what I can find out in the big blue universe. It’s days like these when the dreamer, the drifter, and the free spirit in me wants to be heard.

Maya Angelou

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” I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life. I’ve learned that making a “living” is not the same thing as making a “life.” I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back. I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one. I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn. I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”  – Maya Angelou

You taught me a lot through your words – compassion, resilience, to be true to myself no matter what circumstances crossed my path in life. You were a comfort when the nights were long, and the days cold, and there was nobody else to teach me the lessons I needed to learn, or hear the words I so desperately  needed to hear.

Thank you.

Clare: It’s hard being left behind. I wait for Henry, not knowing where he is, wondering if he’s ok. It’s hard to be the one who stays. 

I keep myself busy. Time goes faster that way.

I go to sleep alone. And wake up alone. I take walks. I work until I’m tired. I watch the wind play with the trash that’s been under the snow all winter. Everything seems simple until you think about it. Why is love intensified by absence? 

Long ago, men went to sea, and women waited for them, standing on the edge of the water, scanning the horizon for the tiny ship. Now I wait for Henry. He vanishes unwillingly, without warning. I wait for him. Each moment that I wait feels like a year, an eternity. Each moment is as slow and transparent as glass. Through each moment I can see infinite moments lined up, waiting. Why has he gone where I cannot follow?  – The Time Traveller’s Wife ( Audrey Niffennegger) 

Sometimes a passage in a book can say a lot more about how you feel than if you wrote the words yourself.

31 Years…but who’s counting..?

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Yesterday was my birthday. 31 years ago was the beginning of my life.

For 31 years I have walked the path of figuring out what I want to do with my life. I have studied many interesting things, read more books than I can remember, discovered my love for writing, and photography, and yet there are still many things I would like to do. But what is my life’s purpose? I am still not sure. I do know I want it to be wildly creative and passionate and daring. I want to set forth and pour all my creativity out into the world, have it flood and splash out into all the cracks and nooks that need filling. I want to help others, extend a hand to support others, with the support I myself didn’t have at times.

I want to trail-blaze a path of my own sparkly stars.

For 31 years I have roamed the earth, bitten by the travel bug as a child. My childhood is filled with memories camping on the beach, road trips during long summer holidays, and an overseas trip to the country of my birth. This instilled in me a desire to travel more widely, to explore, to discover and let curiosity lead me to whatever I might find. My travels have been educational, inspirational, at times confronting and eye-opening, but I have loved every single moment of my life on the road.

My gypsy soul lives for adventure, and I know it will never give up craving the taste for freedom.

For 31 years I have lived in my body, this body which has been absolutely everywhere with me, my shadow, my life partner. For a long time, we have had a rocky relationship, a battle of wills, which I have often grudgingly won, with my food obsessions and picky eating. Over time, slowly, I am learning to love all of it,the lumps and bumps and Latino curves which seem to be popping up all over the place since I turned 30. I like to tell myself it was all the delish food I stuffed my face with in Central America, but one day soon I might have to concede and admit it may be genetics after all! I have to thank it for keeping on going, and not giving up on me.

It is in this body I have taught myself to become a woman.

For 31 years I have been a friend, and for part of it, a girlfriend. I have met many people along the way. Some of who have played an instrumental part to transform me into the person I am today, others who were put into my life for a reason and a season, to develop in me strength and character, and create a belief in myself that I am strong and I am ‘me’. I have met my soul friends, those I couldn’t live without, who enrich my life every single day with their kind words and beautiful smiles. I also look forward to meeting new soul friends, and spinning new memories into webs of enduring friendship.

The important people have stayed, many have gone. And that’s ok.

Romantic love has come and gone numerous times, and despite the disappointments, I choose to put the past behind me with a smile on my face and search for my happy ending.

I believe in Prince Charming, and very happy endings.

Through all these months, days, hours – I have lived, loved, fought private battles, and come out through the other side stronger and more determined than ever. My happy times, my sorrows, the times where nothing has happened at all.

I am proud of my 31 years. Here’s to the next 31.